I’m a patient man. I give people a chance, even when others have given up on them. My close friends often tell me that I’m too nice, that I’m too forgiving and warn of inevitable hurt or disappointment for caring so much. My response to that is, no one is perfect or ever will be perfect, including myself. So I treat people as I want to be treated, with respect and the benefit of the doubt. I must admit, there was a time that I wasn’t patient. There was a time when I made rash decisions, selfish decisions, stupid decisions that not only hurt me, but hurt others around me as well. Many will dismiss certain actions by using words like young, immature and being stupid. In some cases, I can agree with that logic, but at what age do you stop making up excuses and finally own your actions and see your part in it.

They say with age comes wisdom and for me, I would like to think that’s somewhat true. When I turned 50 last year, I was at a point in my life that I questioned everything. I had just lost my father to cancer, I was unemployed as a drummer and for the first time in my life, I was out of answers. When I had questions about life, I would call the wisest man I knew, my father. That was like the bat phone for me. No matter what I was going through, no matter what I needed, he was there. He was there to listen, to give wisdom, support and most importantly, no judgment. I was raised when the word respect actually meant something. I was raised that a lie was a lie and when you lied, there was consequence. Most importantly I was raised to understand right and wrong. In today’s world, the word respect is an afterthought at best. Judgment and finger pointing are all the rage and something simple as knowing right or wrong, seems to be one of the hardest things for an alarming amount of people to understand. What has happened to humanity? Can you imagine if people actually took blame for their actions and instead of pointing fingers and disrespecting one another, they apologized and tried to make it right? Has common sense and decency been expunged from the human brain? I personally know there are many decent, caring people in the world and if you look close enough, you’ll see it on a daily basis. Unfortunately the noise of the despicable has been trying to silence the good since the beginning of time and that continues to ring true today. I do believe good will be silenced, if good is allowed to be silenced and this is why we have a voice and need to use it. The harsh reality is that this is nothing new. Hate, racism and bigotry is as old as humanity, but you would think after hundreds and even thousands of years, humans would evolve with enough intelligence to understand right and wrong. Some could argue that, what’s right for one person may be wrong for another person, but for me, hate, racism and bigotry will always be wrong.

I’ve always thought of life as our personal movie. Movies are written in 3 acts. Act 1- the beginning, Act 2- the middle Act 3- the end. The old saying, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish has never been so profound to me until now as I find myself in Act 3 of life. As I begin Act 3, I begin my own life audit. I’ve reached out to people and continue to reach out to people that I lost touch with or disappointed through my actions. Some are welcoming of my attempt at amends and others tell me to F off. I’m ok with being told to F off, because I’m doing this for me. When my movie is over and the credits roll, I want them to say with forgiveness, with no regrets and without ever having to say the words, “I wish I would have”. Just like Acts 1 and 2 of life, Act 3 won’t be easy. Along the way, I’ve prepared myself to cut people from my life and to be cut from others. At first being cut from someone’s life isn’t an easy pill to swallow. You’ll come up with every excuse in the book to make yourself feel good when deep down inside, you know exactly why they did. That will only come when you are willing to see your part in it. After that, it turns the shock of being cut, into understanding.

I don’t know how this thing called life will turn out, but for whatever time I have left, I will use it the best possible way I can. And not to sound like a broken record, treat others as you want to be treated. If they are treating you badly, step back and try to understand why, but don’t be shocked when the problem might be you.